


Gut Feeling

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24537652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: Why was Duffy back in Holby the night Charlie had his heart attack in series 30?
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 5





	Gut Feeling

Things hadn't quite gone the way Charlie had planned when he'd first spoken to Duffy that morning but they'd gotten there in the end. He supposed he shouldn't really be too surprised as that seemed to be the story of their relationship. Her head was resting on his chest, her legs curled up on the sofa. His arm was laid across her shoulders as he played with her hair between his fingers. It wasn't the first time they'd sat curled up together on a sofa but this time they both knew things were different. 

As he cast his mind back over the day's events he recalled Peter's comment about why Duffy was back. He'd tried to ask her about that earlier but hadn't gotten very far. It was time to find out more. 

"You never did give me a proper answer, you know."

"Mmm?" 

"The reason you came back, to Holby."

"I told you already. Well, actually, strictly speaking Josh invited me."

"Josh?" 

"Yeh, he was the one who contacted and organised all us old timers to appear in the video montage." 

"Ah. That wasn't actually what I was talking about. I meant the first time you came back." 

"First time? You're going to have to be a little more specific than that Charlie."

"The first night I saw you again. Granted I wasn't thinking straight. But, you never told me why you were there."

A dark look passed over her face. "Oh that night." 

He raised an eyebrow at her reaction. What the hell had happened? He reached up his other hand and placing a finger under her chin he tilted her face to look at him. "Please tell me." 

"You'll think I'm silly." 

"Why don't you try letting me be the judge of that."

"Ok. I just suddenly woke up in the middle of the night with the most intense feeling that I had to come home. I tried to shake it off and go back to sleep but it wouldn't leave me. Then I received a call from the agency the next morning saying they didn't have the midwifery shifts I'd been hoping for but they did have a general nursing night shift if I was interested. So as if by fate I found myself walking back through the doors of Holby ED that very same night." 

"You had a feeling? I thought you'd given up on all that horoscopes and psychic stuff years ago Duff!" 

"I knew you'd laugh at me!" 

"I'm not laughing at you. I just saw a glimmer of a woman I haven't seen for a very long time. It was good to see her again." 

"She crawls her way out from under everything from time to time." 

Charlie winced at Duffy's slightly bitter response. Then a thought occured to him. "Hang on, you were doing agency work! You don't just walk into that off the plane. How long had you been back in England before I saw you?" 

Duffy avoided eye contact and muttered. "Three and a half months almost." 

He drew back from her. "That long?! Why didn't you come see me? Surely you knew I'd want to see you?" 

"I couldn't face hearing you say 'I told you so!'"

"I don't understand." 

"Ryan cheated on me Charlie. I came back to England to clear my head and decide what to do. You never liked him, said I was crazy to move to the other side of the world with him. I feared you'd slam the door in my face, tell me I'd made my bed so I should damn well go and lie in it." 

"I'd never say that to you." 

"Well we weren't exactly on the best of terms at that point were we?" 

"Um..."

"You didn't even send me a birthday card that year Charlie! I know we'd had a disagreement but that really hurt." 

"I'm sorry, that was petty of me. I was cross that I hadn't been able to make you see that he was no good for you." 

"So I'd made a point of refusing any shifts the agency offered me at Holby. But after that dream I knew I couldn't keep running any longer. If I did, I'd regret it forever." 

"I honestly thought I was hallucinating when I first saw you standing there."

She smiled. "Ah yes, the angel of death. Not the best introduction I've ever had to a group of new colleagues!" 

"I don't really remember much after that until I saw you again the next morning."

Her smile wavered. "I wish I could say the same." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"I'm sure someone told you what happened." 

"They told me that I had a massive heart attack and it was touch and go for a while there."

"'Touch and go'? Is that what they told you?" Her eyes filled with tears. 

"Yeh. Why, what really happened?" 

She couldn't look at him. She looked down at her hands as her tears gently splashed onto her palms. 

He was briefly stunned by her reaction. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her back as he tried to reassure her. "Hey, come on, look at me, I'm ok." Her tears subsided slightly. "It must have been pretty serious to provoke a reaction like that! Please tell me what happened, it might help to share it." She shook her head. "Duffy, you and me, we don't have secrets remember?" 

"I can't." 

"Yes you can."

"You died." A sob caught in her throat. "You were effectively dead for 45 minutes. It took 8 shocks to bring you back and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it! I just stood there, frozen, it felt like a part of me was dying too. Just watching them all trying so hard to bring you back. Connie especially, she nearly broke your ribs she was so determined." 

He pulled her in tight to his chest, one hand wrapped around her back, the other tangled in her hair. Her hands clung to his shoulders. They stayed like that for several minutes, the only noises being the sounds of both their tears. 

They parted and Charlie finally found his voice again. "I'm so sorry you had to see that Duffy, I really am." 

"It put a lot of things into perspective Charlie. Made me realise what was important." She snuggled closer to him, laying her head on his chest. "Just lying here, hearing your heart beating, you have no idea how much that affects me. I just need to know you're still with me." A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Always. I'll do everything in my power to be with you forever Duffy. I mean that." 

The beginnings of a watery smile appeared on her face. "Telling you that I love you seems a little lame in response to that but I do, you know, I love you so, so much Charlie."

"And I love you too. I always have, and I always will." 

Their lips met in a kiss full of emotion and desire. The hands caressed each other's bodies with tender passion. The emotions they'd bottled up so long surged through them as they made love to each other, whispering declarations of love inbetween their tears. Their needs sated and their souls soothed they lay peacefully in each other's arms happy that they had both finally found themselves home.


End file.
